Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Do We Have Another Aspie?

This is my second son, Thomas. Such a cutie with such a personality, but as the years have gone by we wonder again, does he have Asperger's too? Does he show some of the same signs and traits?

Back when we were testing MJ, the doctors and psychologists hinted that we would probably have more than one kid genetically linked to their dad with the Asperger's traits. They spent some time with him and made a few comments, but he was only 4 then and I don't think they were ready to make any real professional opinions yet.

Much different from MJ's personality, but Thomas has such strong emotions and sensitivities. He absolutely can't stand any loud noises. He shrieks if I turn on the vacuum cleaner. He can't stand most of his clothes, socks, or shoes. He says they don't feel good. He says he doesn't like the way most things taste, feel, sound, or look. He can't handle bright lights or sun.

Sometimes I think he's going to drive me insane with his oversensitivities! I remember MJ being really sensitive by his clothes and textures of food and such when he was very young, but I grew used to it. With Thomas, I think I am just annoyed that he won't wear what I give him and he can't seem to find anything else that "feels good".

He's very smart like his brother, although he doesn't get into such intense thinking as MJ does. He did learn to read at 4 and skipped Kindergarten and is in the same gifted program as his brother. While MJ was obsessed with reading, Thomas developed an obsession of the piano. He taught himself to play and would play the piano for hours and hours on end. He wanted to look up and find new sheet music on the internet. He wanted to play through book after book.

There's that whole processing delay thing that I think goes along with Asperger's. As my husband says, it's just a matter of having to take the time to organize your thoughts before you can speak them because you want to make sure you say it the way you want it perfectly. Thomas seems to take a little to long to answer questions and respond, just the same way MJ and my husband do.

Transitions are crazy! He is always bawling that he didn't have enough time to do this or that or play or finish whatever.

Who is to know? I'm not out there looking to pinpoint traits or trying to prove he is an Aspie too, but it's good to keep an open mind if he does. He has always been so literal along with his brother about everything having to be called the exact thing that it is.

I worry sometimes that since he is going through the same teachers in the same program that these teachers might refrain from making any comments being that they don't want to have to deal with another Aspie kid or another set of instructions or accommodations.

We want the best for all our kids. I guess all we can do is just watch and observe and try to get the best for each of our kids no matter what their quirks, strengths, or weaknesses.

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