Thursday, March 25, 2010

Finally Friends?

MJ might seem content always reading his thousand page books or whatnot, but I know he needed some friends. School had been hard the last many years with him coming home looking so sad and defeated, telling me that he just wandered around on the playground all recess but no one would play with him.

Now, I know part of this problem stems right from his Asperger's in that he doesn't want to do what the other kids are doing. He's always telling me that they were playing kickball or this or that, and he doesn't want to do those things. I've tried to explain to him that you can't always do what you want to do, and sometimes you have to join in the other kids with their games, but it does no use. He is pretty set in his decisions of what he likes and dislikes, and he does not want to change.

Anyway, as we switched to the new school we had high hopes that this change might do MJ good. It would give him a fresh new start with now 100's of kids to find friends from. So, did it work?

The first day of school the kids came home. "So, did you make any new friends?" I asked.

"Yeah, I have 2 friends and we play at recess together." MJ tells me. "They like Pokemon and we talked about Pokemon cards and battles."

Oh, the joy that brought to my ears. Yes, I know it sounds sad, but it's taken 4 years to hear that my son has friends. I was surprised though, and a little hesitant to accept it as reality just yet, so I waited and asked him every day that first week of school. Still by the end of the week he was listing the same 2-3 boys names and it seemed like a real deal!

How could it be so easy now? It astonished me that it seemed so natural and easy. What had been the problem before? Or were these really friends or just a new group of kids that he had nominated to follow around? I worried a little being that he used to list all these "friends" at the previous school, but yet I knew they were just humoring him for several years not really including him in their true friends circle. Hopefully this time was different and this would be a new start for MJ. He was a good kid and although he might be a little eccentric, I think he could still be a good friend.


Velvet Over Steel said...

My son has always experienced that same things. He did not get a correct diagnosis until age 11, but that didn't help him make friends. The kids back home were allowed to be mean to him. I moved to a new state and town with a great special ed. He finally got an education and graduated HS with full credits last May. Although the kids here were much nicer, well most of them, he still did not fit in. :-( He is finally making some 'school' friends in his culinary progam at a local community college. Still doesn't get invited anywhere though and he so wants that. Breaks my heart! I keep praying that he will make a couple true friends SOON!
Hugs to you and your blog! I love it! :-) ~ Coreen

Dad Stuff said...

Sounds like it may be time for a play date. Our son too has Asperger's and didn't get invited to anything. We always had to invite and host parties. Now the friends and invitations are starting to slowing trickle in. We are starting to teach him about AS and why he had to take all of those therapy classes. Good luck!