Maybe not all these characteristics of Asperger's fit MJ, but as I read more, it was like everything I was reading fit my husband to a T. It was a huge eye opener. All these things, these patterns, these weird social things and the way he was. It was my husband!
The doctors began saying that many of these characteristics of MJ and the way he behaved, thought, and functioned were a direct genetic inheritance probably from his dad. As they said it, "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree".
And all at once I felt bad. I felt bad for all the years of being married and wondering what is wrong with my husband?! I felt bad for being so angry at him all the time, and for the frustration I've had. Why doesn't he see the need for this or that, or why does he have to be cued for everything, and why is he so afraid to talk to people or call people on the phone, or is he so obsessed with the computer? And what is that strange flapping thing he does with his hands sometimes, and how he unconsiously chews at his cheek.....this wasn't just my imagination, and it wasn't just to be excused as part of the "male laziness syndrome" but my husband had a form of autism, and I had no doubt it was true.
So, as we waited for the final decision on MJ, we already began taking in all the advice not only for him, but for my husband as well.